Specializing in Relationship Challenges
By a Certified Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Supervisor & Therapist
THE MORE SECURE AND CONFIDENT YOU ARE,
THE MORE YOU CAN CONNECT WITH OTHERS, AND
THE MORE YOU WILL FIND MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS
Meaningful relationships are built on trust, respect, and mutual understanding. When you are secure and confident, you are more likely to be able to offer these things to each other, which makes it easier to build lasting relationships.
A thriving marriage or relationship should offer a safe space for the open expression of differences and needs. It's akin to a dance – when the foundation is safe and solid, you can freely connect and gracefully move through life's ups and downs, hand in hand, for a lifetime.
Do you have A.R.E. with your partner?
Accessibility - Responsiveness - Engagement
Couple/Marriage Counselling may help you and your partner break out of the old cycle of negative pattern in communication and find back your connection that you are able to respond tenderly to each other.
Our approach in couple sessions focuses on experiential, fostering a change in emotional experiences to promote re-connection. We believe in creating a transformative journey where couples can explore and reshape their emotional landscape together. Through experiential moments in the couple sessions, partners are more aware of their underlying emotions, learning to express their needs and feelings more openly, coherently and develop a deeper understanding of each other.
This process not only aids in healing past wounds and resolving misunderstandings but also lays the foundation for a stronger, more resilient relationship. Our goal is to help couples experience a profound shift in their emotional connection, turning moments of conflict into opportunities for growth and deeper bonding.
When you discover that you are not “the only one” to your partner, you may experience your world collapsing. The person you love the most hurts you the worst. The reactions can include intense distress, marked by feelings of anger, hurt, sadness, and helplessness. However, these responses vary from person to person. At the core, you might sense betrayal and abandonment, feeling that trust has been broken in the relationship. Questions may arise such as, "Can I trust you again?", "Can I ever count on you in the future?", "Do I still matter to you?"
If you were the offending partner, seeing your spouse's pain due to your infidelity doesn't bring you any sense of joy but causes hurt to you as well. Being confronted about an affair can be exceptionally challenging to overcome. For some offending partners, the idea of enduring punishment similar to that of a criminal might feel more manageable than bearing the heavy label of a "cheater." In the aftermath of infidelity, all the positive contributions and underlying relationship problems may seem insignificant. The situation is fraught with complex emotions, making it a difficult journey for anyone involved.
An Attachment Injury is defined as a violation of trust resulting from a betrayal, which is often related to an affair or from abandonment at a moment of intense need or vulnerability. It is a wound that breaches the fundamental assumptions of attachment relationships. Infidelity Counselling plays a crucial role in addressing and healing these attachment injuries caused by affairs.
Infidelity certainly crushes marriages and relationships. Yet it is not a death sentence. I've had the privilege of providing guidance and support through infidelity counseling to numerous couples who managed to recover, heal, and even forge stronger relationships than before with the same partner.
Of course, the process of recovery is far from easy. After the trust has been broken, the recovery you need is more than just determination, willingness, commitment, and patience. However, what truly matters is the help of a skilled and experienced professional couple therapist trained in providing Infidelity Counselling. Such a therapist can offer you not only a safe space, unwavering support, and impartiality, but also the expertise to guide you step by step through the journey of affair recovery.
Don't lose hope! Give your marriage the chance to address the wounds caused by the affair. Embrace this moment as an opportunity to not only overcome the crisis but also to flourish within your relationship and for personal growth as an individual!
Winny has been practicing counselling since 2007. Her experience spans a wide range, with a strong focus on assisting distressed couples. She specializes in addressing issues such as infidelity, extramarital affairs, childhood trauma, communication, highly conflicted couple relationships, and challenges within parenting and family relationships.
Winny's primary therapeutic approach is grounded in Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFCT), an evidence-based approach based on attachment theory. It fosters positive shifts in partners' interaction patterns while cultivating a safe and secure emotional bond. Additionally, Winny applies Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) to support individuals dealing with anxiety, childhood trauma, and anger issues.
As a Certified EFT Supervisor and Therapist affiliated with the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT), Winny possesses extensive expertise in her field. Additionally, she contributes to the field by teaching a couple counseling module at a local university and managing The Singapore Community for Emotionally Focused Therapy (SGEFT) that provides support and supervision to therapists and other mental health professionals learning EFT.
She adopts a therapeutic stance emphasizing acceptance, empathy, genuineness, respect, and non-judgment.
Over the years, Winny has received numerous positive feedback, particularly for the effectiveness of her therapeutic alliance and highlighting success stories from her clients. Her dedication has helped many individuals and couples rediscover hope, reconnect, and achieve reconciliation. Meanwhile, She has always found great fulfillment in journeying with her clients.
Language Proficiency: English and Mandarin
Couple counseling and marriage counseling share the common goal of helping partners improve their relationship, but they differ in scope and application. Couple counseling is broader, designed for any couple, regardless of their legal marital status, and focuses on resolving current conflicts, improving communication, and strengthening the relationship. Marriage counseling, on the other hand, specifically targets legally married couples and often addresses issues with a long-term perspective, including familial dynamics, financial planning, and intimacy.
The cost of marriage counselling in Singapore can vary widely depending on several factors, including the location of the counselling center, the qualifications and experience of the therapist, the duration and time of the sessions, the specific technique of therapy being used, and whether the therapist holds official certification from globally recognized institution. At Just2Hearts Counselling, our fees range from $180-$360. For detailed pricing information, please visit our Fees page. Please verify with us if your insurance coverage is through Bupa or Cigna.
EFT is widely recognized and empirically supported approach to couple therapy. It focuses on helping couples identify and change negative patterns of interaction while enhancing emotional connection and attachment. EFT has demonstrated long-term effectiveness in improving relationship satisfaction and stability.
According to a meta-analysis conducted on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), 90% of couples who underwent EFT significantly improved their relationship, and 70-75% of couples no longer fit the criteria for relationship distress following treatment. This success rate is higher than any other couple intervention at the time.
More information about the summary of EFT research: EFT Research – ICEEFT
Couple or Marriage Counselling can indeed contribute to improve relationships, but the outcomes are influenced by various factors, including the specific situation of each relationship, the commitment of the individuals involved, the therapist’s skills and experience, and the therapeutic relationship between the clients and the therapist.
Yes, if both partners are willing to engage in the process of rebuilding trust through open, honest and sincere communication, addressing underlying issues, support their partner in dealing with any post-traumatic stress, and working towards healing. Nevertheless, it’s important to recognize that couple or marriage counselling doesn’t provide instant solution. The process can be emotionally challenging and both partners should be mentally prepared in the process.
You might start with individual counselling for yourself. This can help you understand yourself and needs better, and you can learn strategies to manage your relationship dynamics more effectively. As your spouse observes the positive changes in your behavior and interactions, they may become inspired by this new approach. This could potentially encourage him/her to participate in couple/marriage counseling with you.
Our practice involves a combination of couple sessions and individual session/s with each partner.
Attending marriage counseling in Singapore is generally recommended on a weekly basis. A two-week gap between sessions is acceptable under certain circumstances, but it's important to avoid extending the gap beyond two weeks as it can impact the progress of the counseling. Commitment to the process is crucial for the success of marriage counselling.
Our marriage hit rock bottom struggling with infidelity, gambling debts and suicides. Just as I was about to give up in this marriage, I approached Winny. I had wanted to seek counselling for myself. Little did I expect that Winny ask to see my spouse too.
She put us on individual counselling sessions for a period of time. When situations were stable and we were more ready, she brought us together into couple counselling sessions.
Winny has journeyed with us through these most difficult times of our lives. She even met up our eldest boy, who was quite affected by us, to counsel him. She has the heart to want to help and make things better for the whole family.
Sometimes there were things in my head that I could not seem to rationalize. She can always help me to straighten my thoughts. It’s very easy to talk to her as I find that she grasps the situations fast and right.
Through the couple counselling sessions, Winny helped us to see the wrong dynamics we had in our marriage in the past. Our marriage took a turn for the better.
We are in a new marriage with the same partner.
We can communicate with each other better and
our children are happy.
We are very thankful to Winny, for believing in us and helping us to find healing and restoration when our marriage seems shattered beyond repair.
My life went into the dark when I was engaged in an extramarital affair. I subjected myself to lies, heavy gambling, neglecting work and even suicide threats. Most importantly I put my wife and family through an enduring and devastating time.
My marriage was on the brink of an end,
until Winny helped us to think rationally and understand the roots of our issues.
I had never been an open-minded or vocal person,
often unwilling to share. In the sessions of individual counselling, Winny provided a safe environment for me to share and express my feelings. It helped me understood how important my wife and family are to me.
In the couple sessions, Winny provided us a safe platform to express and understand more about each other’s true feelings and intent behind our words and actions.
It helped to bring us to know we truly want our marriage to be. Winny had also been professional and patience with me throughout the course of the counselling, not giving it up, even as I had repeatedly lied and failed.
She has kept and persisted with us throughout this infidelity counselling journey. My wife and I now had found the right dynamics in our marriage now, thanks to Winny. We are grateful to Winny in helping us heal, restore, open up and build our marriage.
My wife and I have been seeing each other for about 10 years and we decided to tie the knot 5 years ago. Unfortunately, I got into an extramarital affair with an office colleague and started to stray from my marriage, until my wife eventually found out about it.
Hoping to salvage the marriage, we approached Winny for marriage counselling and have since attended over 10 sessions with her. Winny was patient and understanding to hearing both sides of our story and took an unbiased stance towards breaking down the problems in our relationship. Through the coaching and assignments, we were able to understand our other half better and identified the root cause to the problem in our relationship – that is we are a conflict avoidant couple and that resulted in a build-up frustration over the years. Towards the end of the counselling, Winny gave some valuable advice on how to rebuild the trust in our relationship.
Thanks to Winny, my wife and I are now more vocal and could engage with each other on a much more intimate level. We also learned that marriage is fragile and never to take each other for granted. We will not hesitate to recommend Winny to any other couple in need of help! (TJ and SC)
We began on this Marriage Counselling journey with a heavy heart, unable to even expect anything out of it. We were both extremely unstable in our emotions and expressions. The initial sessions were so tough that Winny had to manage us individually back then. We certainly gave her a hard time.
Winny, the way you counselled individually led me to open up. I did not feel any judgement nor detect condemnation from you. You also led me to uncover and express deep emotions that was unknown for years. I could even go deep in reflection from the questions you posted to me in every session. It was the reflections that helped me realized what exactly went wrong between my spouse and I! We had not communicated truly for the longest time. From your counselling, we dealt deeply with our emotions such that we could communicate heart to heart finally. This was evident from our last few couple therapy sessions when my spouse could stabilize her emotions and have quality sharing.
All in all, from a hard stand of unknown outcome initially to a beautiful renewal relationship, we could only say a big “Thank You” to you, Winny, for giving us your time despite of your busy schedule. We were so blessed by the way you counselled!” (ST & CL)
We booked our first marriage counselling session with Winny on Valentines Day and is so far the best gift my husband and I could have ever given each other. After being together for almost 2 decades, we came to a point where we knew we needed help but didn’t exactly know what it was.
Winny helped us understand what went lacking and how we could reconnect back by understanding each other’s point of view. We have always talked things through but Winny helped put things back in perspective. As both of us are naturally private, it was honestly awkward at first. After few individual and couple sessions, we started to appreciate the beauty of speaking to a trained professional who allowed us to speak our minds and asked us smart questions. Winny helped us warm up, that soon led us to identifying our emotions, pinpointing bad habits (which unknowingly hurt us) and consciously appreciating each other’s effort to reach out.
We are happy to “graduate” from the sessions but most importantly we are happy that we are back to being each other’s safe space. Thank you Winny and I hope that you touch more lives with this vocation. (M&C)
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79 Anson Road, Level 22-01, Central 079908, Singapore
79 Anson Road Level 22 Singapore 079906
By Appointment Only
Monday - Friday from 9am - 9pm
Saturday from 9am-4pm