Couple/marriage counselling
Fighting for Connection
I have been conducting Marriage Preparation Programmes for more than a decade. I always ask couples why they want to be married; most answered: “because we love each other”. Love led them to enter the highest commitment with the utmost connection from mutual listening and caring.
Reality fell short. Sadly, many couples for whatever reasons, are caught in the loop of old arguments again and again. These unhealthy pattern make them feel distant, disconnected, even being shut out, misunderstood, unwanted, unloved, unappreciated, unaccepted and dissatisfied in their relationships marriages.
What went wrong? What’s going on really? What do couples want to achieve from the arguments? Is it just to prove I am right, and you are wrong? Or have these couples disconnected emotionally so much that they do not feel emotionally safe and secure with each other.
The fight could be just a protest over emotional disconnection. Often, the anger, the criticism, the demands, are really cries for a secure and safe connection.
What difference does it make when you realise that the fights could just be a protest over emotional disconnection? Couple Counselling or Marriage Counselling may help you to find back your connection with your loved one!
What to expect from couple/marriage counselling
Stage 1: De-escalate negative communication pattern
- Explore and understand your trigger points
- Track your interaction pattern to identify how your communication breaksdown
- Help you to recognize the rigid unhealthy patterns of behaviour
- Access the deeper meaning of what matters to you including your underlying emotions and needs.
Stage 2: Create a new positive pattern of communication
- Create safety and secure bond
- Drawing you close to one another
- Promote acceptance by being able to listen and showing empathy
- Experience the Reconnection with love and care
Stage 3: Applying new communication pattern – Problem Solving
- Review any remaining unresolved problems
- Partners can safely solve problems and cope with differences
- Strengthen the new communication pattern by applying it to the old problems
- Embrace new ways of connecting with each other both physically and emotionally
- Enhance closeness and intimacy