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Her World, by Davelle Lee - 30 Apr 2018


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This video by Dr. Sue Johnson shows how Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) can transform the way our brains respond to stress in relationship. Through a brain scan study, we see how a secure emotional bond—built through EFT—helps reduce fear and pain. After therapy, a partner’s loving touch calms the brain, proving that love is a powerful safety signal that supports emotional and physical well-being


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Why Empathy?

Empathy plays a crucial role in couple relationship. It enables partners to view conflicts from each other's perspectives, which can ease tensions and pave the way for solutions that honor both individuals' needs and feelings. Brené Brown's concept of empathy encompasses four key elements:

  1. Perspective Taking: Understanding another's viewpoint without judgment.
  2. Staying Out of Judgment: Accepting others' feelings and experiences as valid.
  3. Recognizing Emotion in Others: Identifying and understanding others' emotions.
  4. Communicating Understanding: Conveying to others that their emotions are seen and understood.

Effectiveness of EFT in Couple Relationships

Rooted in attachment theory, EFT helps couples identify and understand their emotional responses and patterns of interaction that lead to disconnection and distress. By creating a safe therapeutic space, couples are guided to express their underlying feelings and needs, fostering empathy and understanding between partners.  Through this process, couples learn to break negative cycles of interaction, develop stronger emotional connections, and establish a more secure, resilient bond. EFT is particularly effective in helping couples navigate conflict, rebuild trust, and enhance emotional intimacy.  

Attachment Styles

Attachment styles, shaped in early childhood, significantly influence adult relationships:

  1. Secure Attachment: Leads to healthy, balanced relationships with good communication and comfort with intimacy.
  2. Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment: Causes dependency and fear of abandonment, often leading to clingy or needy behavior in relationships.
  3. Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment: Results in emotional distance and a preference for independence over intimacy in relationships.
  4. Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: Creates mixed feelings about intimacy, leading to a push-pull dynamic in relationships, characterized by a desire for closeness but fear of getting hurt.



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